I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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