My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize