Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
