remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
