I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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