I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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