i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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