i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
