? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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