These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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