i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
