i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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