Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Can't talk, ducks in the car
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
