drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
