he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Enjoy the penises
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
