EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
