Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
