I'd wear matching sweaters with you
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
