Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
