she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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