I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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