It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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