it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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