Acid is not a monday night drug
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
