What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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