I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Still dying that you shit outside
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
