Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
