forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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