I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
