i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
you didnt know i had herpes?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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