yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
