did you get engaged???
White coat. Heels.
wanna go halves on a baby?
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
