I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
