I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
