We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
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