I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize
