it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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