This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
You've changed since you got that strap on
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
