im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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