these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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