you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
