He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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