Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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