I just cut my nipple shaving
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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