Ambien. No doubt about it.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
