Your tits are I can't wait for
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
