I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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