dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Randomize
