i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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