I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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