I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
