My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
