I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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