so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
