i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
