Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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