we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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