my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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