I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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