Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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