Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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