I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize