great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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