You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize