people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
