He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
