We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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