Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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