I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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