I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
